Help Billy get a body!

[Robbie Honerkamp <robbie@opus.shorty.com>]

----- Forwarded message from lkern@otterbein.edu -----
Date: Thu, 10 Feb 2000 08:39:23 -0500
From: Leesa Kern <lkern@otterbein.edu>

Dear Kind Stranger:

I am a very sick little boy.  My mother is typing this for
me, because I can't.

She is crying.  Don't cry, Mommy!  Mommy is always sad, but
she says it's not my fault.  I asked her if it was God's
fault, but she didn't answer, and only started crying
harder, so I don't ask her that anymore.

The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick.  I was born
without a body.  It doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep.
The doctors gave me an artificial body.  My body is a burlap
bag filled with leaves.  The doctors said that was the best
they could do on account of us having no money or insurance. 
I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more
money.

Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire
crying people.  I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged
my burlap body.  Mommy always gives me hugs, even though
she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me.  You can help me if you forward
this e-mail.  Dr. Johansen said if you forward this e-mail
then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with
NASA.  Then the astronauts will collect prayers from
school children all over America and take them up to space
so that the angels can hear them better.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball.  Or maybe
just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them.
The doctors said that every time you forward this letter,
the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels.

Please help me.  Mommy is so sad, and I want a body.  I don't
want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.  If you don't
forward this e-mail, that's OK.  Mommy says you're a mean
heartless jerk who doesn't care about a poor little boy
with only a head.  She says that if you don't stew in the
raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die
a long, slow horrible death so you can burn forever in
hell.  What kind of person are you that you can't take five
minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they
can feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and
then maybe help a poor, bodiless 9-year-old boy?

Please help me.  This really sucks.  I try to be happy 
but it's hard.  I wish I had a puppy.  I wish I could hold 
a puppy.

Thank You.

Billy 'Smiles' Evans,

The boy with just a head.

And a burlap sack for a body.

----- End forwarded message -----