Microsoft Announces Improved BSOD

[Trey Blalock <trey@cryptomail.com>]

 Microsoft Announces Improved BSOD 
 
 In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft President Steve Ballmer 
 revealed that the Redmond based company will allow computer resellers 
 and end-users to customize the appearance of the Blue Screen of Death 
 (abbreviated BSOD), the screen that displays when the Windows operating 
 system crashes. 
 
 The move comes as the result of numerous focus groups and customer 
 surveys done by Microsoft. Thousands of Microsoft customers were asked, 
 "What do you spend the most time doing on your computer?" A surprising 
 number of respondents said, "Staring at a Blue Screen of Death". At 54 
 percent, it was the top answer, beating the second place answer 
 "Downloading Pornography" by an easy 12 points. 
 
 "We immediately recognized this as a great opportunity for ourselves, 
 our channel partners, and especially our customers." explained the 
 excited Ballmer to a room full of reporters. 
 
 Immense video displays were used to show images of the new customizable 
 BSOD screen side-by-side with the older static version. Users can select 
 from a collection of "BSOD Themes", allowing them to instead have a 
 Mauve Screen of Death or even a Paisley Screen of Death. Graphics and 
 multimedia content can now be incorporated into the screen, making the 
 BSOD the perfect conduit for delivering product information and 
 entertainment to Windows users. 
 
 The Blue Screen of Death is by far the most recognized feature of the 
 Windows (tm) operating system, and as a result, Microsoft has 
 historically insisted on total control over its look-and-feel. This 
 recent departure from that policy reflects Microsoft's recognition of 
 the Windows desktop itself as the "ultimate information portal." By 
 default, the new BSOD will be configured to show a random selection of 
 Microsoft product information whenever the system crashes. Microsoft 
 channel partners can negotiate with Microsoft for the right to customize 
 the BSOD on systems they ship. 
 
Major computer resellers such as Compaq, Gateway, and Dell are already 
lining up for premier placement on the new and improved BSOD. 
 
 Balmer concluded by getting a dig in against the Open Source community. 
 "This just goes to show that Microsoft continues to innovate at a much 
 faster pace than open source. I have yet to see any evidence that Linux 
 even has a BSOD, let alone a customizable one."