Fwd: FW: Top Ten Lists

[Chris Johnson <1cobra1@gte.net>]

> Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty In Law But Aren't:
> 10. Have you looked through her briefs? 
> 9. He is one hard judge!
> 8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
> 7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute.
> 6. Is it a penal offense?
> 5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
> 4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
> 3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
> 2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
> --  And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in law but isn't:
> 1. Think you can get me off?
> --------------------------------------------------------
> Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Aren't:
> 10. I need to whip it out by 5:00.
> 9. Mind if I use your laptop?
> 8. Just stick it in my box. 
> 7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
> 6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!
> 5. HMMMMMMMM....I think it's out of fluid!
> 4. My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.
> 3. It's an entry-level position.
> 2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
> --  And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in the office but isn't:
> 1. It's not fair...I do all the work while he just sits there!
> --------------------------------------------------------
> Top ten things that sound dirty in golf but aren't: 
>10. Nuts...my shaft is bent
> 9.  After 18 holes I can barely walk
> 8.  You really whacked the hell out of that sucker
> 7.  Look at the size of his putter
> 6.  Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more
> 5.  Mind if I join your threesome?
> 4.  Stand with your back turned and drop it
> 3.  My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip
> 2.  Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired
> --   And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in golf but isn't:
> 1.   Hold up... I need to wash my balls first

Those who live by the sword 		1cobra1@gte.net
get shot by those who don't.		KE4EIF