Re: WELK: Welkisms

[Colin Miller <here@mindspring.net>]

It's funny you should post this. I remember a few years back doing sound
for "The stars of the lawrence Welk Show" tour . I found out that the
accordian player (Forgot his name) had come up to the AV booth during a
pause and found me, the stage manager and the lighting director all asleep
during the show, slumped over our consoles.


>I got this from my Lawrence Welk mailing group and it was so damm funny I
>had to send it along. I hope you
>enjoy it as much as I did.
>
>Darren
>--------
>>From: CGLADYSZ@landauer.com
>>To: darren.hutton@gte.net
>>Subject: WELK: Welkisms
>>Date: July 16, 1998
>>
>>I found my list after scrounging around my apartment.  So I thought I
>>would share it with you all.  Hope you enjoy.
>>
>> --Christopher
>>
>>**************************
>>WELKISMS: A Wunnerful Way With Words
>>(Compiled by Dick Wilson, a sound mixer who worked on "The Lawrence Welk
>>Show" for more than three decades)
>>
>>"Now the band will play a medley of tunes from World War Eye [World War
>>I]."
>>
>>During an audience warm-up: "I just wrote a book, but don't go out and
>>buy it yet, because I don't think it's finished yet."
>>
>>"There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them."
>>
>>Introducing a guest performer: "His act may start out slow, but it
>>tapers off."
>>
>>When an audience was not responding with generous applause: "I see we
>>have a few sourpussies in the group tonight."
>>
>>Referring to rock music: "That's not my cup of dish."
>>
>>"How do you spell conductor after C-U-N?"
>>
>>To the band just before going on the air: "Boys, look like you're having
>>fun, but don't have any."
>>
>>"I just had an idea that went right over my head."
>>
>>Introducing the high potentate at a Shriner's convention: "Ladies and
>>Gentlemen, your high totem pole."
>>
>>To his stand-in: "Whenever you have a minute I'd like to see you right
>>now."
>>
>>To a band member: "I never realized that your hair was so close to your
>>head before."
>>
>>To a performer who apologized for being late and said he had no excuse:
>>"That's no excuse."
>>
>>About a vocalist who auditioned: "She has a nice voice, but she looks a
>>little bit too much like Eleanor Roosevelt."
>>
>>To the dress rehearsal audience about the use of a phony turkey on the
>>set of a Thanksgiving show: "Don't worry, folks, this will be a real
>>turkey when it gets on the air."
>>
>>To the person who wrote his cue cards: "Don't use the word 'dat' (that).
>>I can say 'dis' (this), but I can't say 'dat' (that)."
>>
>>"I just let it in one ear and out the top of my head."
>>
>>When a group of people came in to discuss problems in the band: "You
>>know, when people band together, it causes a house divided."
>>
>>Referring to a singing duo he first heard perform at a nightclub: "They
>>were so good, I could hardly wait to get out of there."
>>
>>When he found the Hollywood Palace stage to be too small to accomodate
>>the whole band: "Fire four feet of the band."
>>
>>"I'm keeping perfect time.  I"ll get my barometer (metronome) and prove
>>it."
>>
>>Then there was the time he accused a vocal group of being out of
>>lip-sync when they were singing live.
>>
>>"Boys, if you don't stick together, how do you expect me to follow
>>you-ah?"
>>
>>"You know, it's a long world."
>>
>>To the pianist who was rehearsing: "Why do you do that?  You play too
>>many notes already."
>>
>>"That's what really broke the camel's straw."
>>
>>After a jet plane flew over and disrupted rehearsal: "You know, those
>>jet planes make masonic booms."
>
>>
>>To the accordionist: "You go over there and play the accordion.  I'll
>>stay here and beat off the band."
>>
>>Asking the guitarist to accompany a guest vocalist: "Get behind her over
>>here, and give her a nice feel."
>>
>>Inviting the Wisconsin Cheese Queen in the audience to come up on stage
>>and dance: "Come up here and let us see you cut the cheese."
>>
>>After a production number in which the Champagne Lady sang of unrequited
>>love: "Yes, she sure looks like a woman who has been tampered with."
>>
>>(reprinted without permission)
>>
>>
>>********************************************************
>>*To unsubscribe send email to majordomo@buffnet.net and*
>>*in the body put in lower case letters:                *
>>*                                                      *
>>*unsubscribe welk <your-email-address-here>            *
>>*                                                      *
>>*example:  unsubscribe welk john@aol.com               *
>>********************************************************
>
>
>
># Need help using (or leaving) this mailing list?
># Send the command "info exotica" to majordomo@lists.xmission.com.
># To post, email exotica@lists.xmission.com; replies go to original sender.